Kindness - I'll Be Back

chris on December 29 2015

So there is a Dominican dude with Tourettes that hangs out on my block. He tends to yell DIABLO! at all hours of the night and punch things. He really has it out for the garbage can and phone booth on the corner of Broadway and Hooper Street. I'm no Doctor, but his Turrets seems to be exacerbated by alcohol consumption, and he drinks about twelve 24oz Crazy Stallion malt liquors a day... The Arizona big cans of malt liquor. This morning he was doing something rather worrisome. While sitting in pouring rain on a milk crate at the base of a street lamp, he had pulled the wires out from the electrical company access point at the base, and had spliced in a boom box. Using his bare hands, he was wrapping the wires around the prongs of the electrical cord, only taking breaks to yell DIABLO and chug his Crazy Stallion. I'm going to go check on him in a few hours to make sure he isn't sizzling in a pool of his own urine.

Chagall - TMTL

Alex on December 21 2015

I think my next profession will be dog magician, like a magician for dogs. Talk about a rewarding career -- you could literally just take stuff out of your pockets with enthusiasm and they'd think you're David Copperfield.

Men I Trust - Break for Lovers ft. Helena

Alex on December 18 2015

The other day I was putting on clothes after getting out of the shower, I almost fell and hit my head on a stone corner... that's when a thought hit me with the world shattering weight of finding out Martin Shkreli was the sole-proprietor of the new Wu-Tang album, am I so old I need to worry about falling down? COME ON!!

Swimwear - Cannonball

chris on December 17 2015

If you have an umbrella and a rain jacket - these items are moot if your shoes are made out of tissue paper. This is my realization 10 steps out of my door while i'm far too late to turn back and correct my error. I literally said fuck it out loud. I'll just be absolutely miserable for the remainder of the day. Also, another realization... It should not be 60 degrees in New York in December and these raindrops should definitely be snow flakes.

Idol Mind - Yeah

chris on December 16 2015

Good bands these days hit a meteoric rise. And poof... before you know it, your chance to see War on Drugs at mercury lounge with 100 people is gone like a fart in the wind. Go see music at small venues immediately.

Laurie Shaw - Where the Lights Don't Reach

chris on December 15 2015

Perfect... I mean FUCKING PERFECT mesh of a Coconut Records slash Mac Demarco "made in your bedroom" sound with early 90s Pavement slash Beck style alternative.

Elite Gymnastics - Andreja 4 Ever

chris on December 15 2015

Good work on your name Elite Gymnastics. I'm not sure if you're going to love it in 5 years, but right now it's spot on.

Portishead - Wandering Star

Alex on December 12 2015

Personally speaking - no other album in the history of music could possibly be so nostalgic as Portishead's Dummy. I spent HOURS upon HOURS smoking weed in high school listening to this album on repeat - just hearing those crisp drums brings me back to late nights at the Krispy Kreme donuts inhaling little pillowy morsels of heaven-- brb going to Krispy Kreme.

Sierra Manhattan - You Are Real

chris on December 09 2015

In my opinion, this could be in contingency for Album of the Year. Eleven straight songs of amazing. In reality, it's not going to even come close to making the list. It's all politics man... politics.

Axxa/Abraxas - I Almost Fell

chris on December 08 2015

You know when you have 29 things to do and you can't figure out what to do first and your mind is reeling and just repeating the list over and over and over and over and you do a little bit of one and a little bit of another and then you feel like your brain is about to explode. No.. Me neither.